21 Days: Day 1, AM

I've decided to participate in a 21 day challenge issued by our pastor, Zach Miller.  Part of the challenge is to read one chapter of the book of John (found in the New Testament of the Christian Bible) each day, spend time in prayer and reflection and to "fast" something important to you.  It might sound silly, but I've decided to fast Facebook.

Pastor Zach suggested that we take a look at what we spent he most time on, what was a priority, or where did our attention go?  For me, that is Facebook.  I don't play the games or join the pages (although some are quite funny and painfully relevant!), I "just" keep up with friends and businesses, my business page, etc.

Facebook is my homepage, the first thing that opens on my internet browser.  I have the app for my Palm Pre, I have text updates.  I'm connected.  I'm also a bit dependent.  OK, so my husband says "addicted", Facebook junkie, etc.  LOL  My conversation is freguently sprinkled with funny "status updates" from family and friends.  I often view situations as opportunities for clever Facebook posts.  I enjoy  seeing what people have to say and often what they have to say about what I had to say - yep, I'll confess to a wee bit of self-love)

It also gives me a false sense of connectedness.  It's easy to "know" someone through what they have to say on Facebook.  I can't possibly "know" what's really going on in their lives.  They don't know what's going on in mine!  Although I try really hard to be transparent and post the good and the bad, the funny and the sad; I often leave out the ugly.  I don't put up a status update that says "Noel Giger: is really mad at her husband for forgetting their dearly departed son's birthday, working late and ruining the plans for a family visit to the graveyard to remember his birthday."  or "Noel Giger: is feeling guilty for not being able to handle the screaming and bad behaviour of her toddler (who is trying to get her attention while she is "working" on Facebook) and leaving him in time out for 20 minutes."  or "Noel Giger: hasn't cracked her Bible in a week, even though she's listened to several hours of Biblical teaching on Christian radio."

Yep, I'm in love with the false reality that Facebook provides.  I have over 400 friends, I must be likable.  People comment on my status, I must be popular.  People "like" my comments, I must be wise.  I don't cuss or "like" people who do, I must be a Christian.

I'm a little afraid that I won't be able to keep up my fast.  I'm not addicted (I can stop anytime I want to!), but it has become part of the fabric of my life (cotton - anyone?)  It's a cheap addiction financially, so it's easy to justify.  What is less easy to reason away is the relationship that it steals.  I don't want cheap relationships.  I want real ones.  I should have realized this when my husband signed up for Facebook and alerts of my status updates so that he could keep up with what is going on in my head.  I was flattered!  Now I'm just angry if he doesn't respond - it must mean he doesn't care, right? 

I'm jealous of those spouses who are mutually Facebook dependent.  You know the ones - they tell each other's walls how much they love them.  They respond back to the other's wall "I love you too".  They post in the afternoon how they can't wait to get home to each other's walls.  Then later in the day they post a status update about the wonderful time they had with each other cooking dinner and bike riding and whatever else...

Ah, now that's honest - is it too honest?  I know that my relationship with my husband is firm, loving and secure.  It just isn't public to my false Facebook world.  Therein lies the problem.  I've (temporarily) elevated that world over the things that I know to be true.  It's easy to do!  Maybe the world that you've elevated over the truth isn't a false one from Facebook.  Maybe it's your blog friends.  Maybe it's your office.  Maybe it's your teachers and clasmates.  The time has come to grasp hold of what is TRUE and see through the flimsy immitations of Life.  Facebook doesn't love me.  It may temporarily make me feel better about myself, but it doesn't sacrifice for me.

So - that's a (really long) reason to "fast" from Facebook.

 I hope to blog later with my reflections from John chapter 1 ("the one about the son" - yes, I was a Carmen fan back in the day!).  I hope to read this as a family, or at least with my husband - so I'm saving it for after he gets home.

Oh - and Facebook friends, if you comment on this through "Networked Blogs" I won't get it for a while - so if you want me to see it soon, pst a comment on the actual blog, or send me an e-mail :)

400 Facebook Fans! A SALEabration :)

I can't believe it!  My "fan page" has passed 400 fans!  The best part is, only 144 of them are personal friends!

As a special thank you to all my facebook friends and fans, all items are 40% off this week!  In addition, I've marked all my pillows on clearance 60% off!

If you don't already "like" my page, please do so now!  Or, if you're not on Facebook (how do you continue to breathe?) just be a "follower" of this blog and I'll extend the discount to you too!

Also, all jewelry ships for free!  Many of the pics are blurry, (I haven't had a chance to drag my 3 children to the pretty spots to do outdoor shots!) but I guarentee you'll be happy or I'll refund your money :)

Large Cabinet Door (left) with 4 hymnal pages and teal/brown enameled metal cross. $78.00
Vintage distressed cabinet door with original handle (if you look close you can see it was once red!) with enameled cross of an angelic-looking girl praying. $46.00

I happened upon a stash of vintage crazy quilt squares. They are circa 1930 and feature precious snippets of colorful fabrics!
This pillow cover: 16x24"
Features vintage crazy quilt squares, raspberry/red soft material from a remnant.
100% [ReDeemed] materials! $38.00 - 2 AVAILABLE in this style
Pillow insert sold separately: $10.00

Happy 4th Birthday Ian! We love and miss you :)

Every year on Ian's birthday I wonder what we will do.  The first year we felt we really needed to plan a party.  We invited our close friends and family, had cake and visited the gaveside.  My children each had special songs they wanted to sing andspecific requests.  They wanted to bring flowers and balloons (to release after we sang the songs).  I also read a poem that I wrote that morning.  Here it is:

One Year

by Noel Giger

In Memory of Ian Wesley Giger

August 3, 2006 – November 5, 2006

Lost to SIDS

One year ago today I was in labor at this time. One year ago today William held our sweet Ian up to show me, and then they whisked him away too soon.

How was I to know that in a few short 94 days, his precious life would also be whisked away too soon?

One year ago today, I was in a hospital, holding my 3rd child, checking out his perfection, counting toes and multiplying kisses on his entire body.

How was I to know that in 13 weeks I would be in another hospital, holding that same gift, as we discontinued life support and he breathed his last?

One year ago today, I called people at 4 o'clock in the morning to tell them "my water has broken!" I was in labor, just the way I had always wanted it. My first two were induced, I always wanted a water-breaking story.

How was I to know that just shy of 3 months later, I would be making a similar round of phone calls? "Ian stopped breathing, the EMT's have a pulse back. They are taking him to Trinity, please PRAY!".

One year ago today, I would soon find out that my little boy would have to stay in NICU after I had been released. I couldn't bear to leave without him, much less go home without him, so William got a hotel room next to the Hospital, so we could visit him all the time.

How was I to know that leaving him in NICU would pale in comparison to leaving him, laying cold and dead in another Hospital, so small and so gone? I stood at the elevators for what seemed like an eternity, unable to force my body to make the moves. Again, we couldn't bear to go home, another hotel.

One year ago today, I had the pleasure of introducing my older 2 children to their much awaited, already loved baby brother. They loved holding him and fought over whose turn it was to feed him his bottle.

How was I to know that 3 months and 2 days later, I would break their hearts with the news that Ian had died and gone to Heaven?

One year ago today, I thought that it was going to be really challenging to plan a Dedication party for Ian, we figured that it would come around Thanksgiving.

How was I to know that 3 months and 3 days later, I would be planning a very different event; a funeral for a tiny body, in a tiny casket, to be placed in a tiny plot of land in a cemetery? I have my "certificate of property ownership", I'd rather just have my son.

One year ago today, I welcomed family and friends, accepted warm greetings and well wishes, enjoyed flower deliveries to welcome Ian's birth. I love flowers!

How was I to know that in 14 weeks, I would be receiving many flowers, too many to make it from the funeral to my house in one car? Man, I hated flowers that week!

One year ago today, we excitedly and proudly filled out the information for Ian's birth certificate: Ian Wesley Giger. We were so proud of his beautiful name.

How was I to know that 6 months later we would stand in the cemetery, the ugly patch of brown now covered with sweet new grass, and weep bitter tears over seeing his name, so carefully chosen, and never intended for a bronze carving?

One year ago today, we soon would delight in dressing our son up in the outfit his big brother and sister had chosen, the front says "My mom is a rock star". Yep, I felt like one too. We were finally bringing him home, finally got to see the sign "Welcome home Mom and Dad and Ian" made with markers, crayons and stickers, by our sweet children.

How was I do know that an achingly short 2,255 hours later, we would be singing, crying and praying as he made his true homecoming? I believe that there were angels and small children holding up signs, "Welcome Home Ian", "Job Well Done", "Enter Your Rest". I am sure they weren't made with markers though.

One year ago today, I thought I was a strong person. I thought that I had great faith. I thought that life was great.

How was I to know, that over the course of the next year, I would find out without a shadow of a doubt, that I am a strong person, I have great faith and that LIFE is great?

I have no regrets.

I don't know what we'll do this year.  We have a yard sign that we will put out, as we do every year.  We leave it out between his birthday and anniversary. Here is what it looks like:

We've met several people in our neighborhood from our sign.  I'm sure there are plenty more who'd rather not see it!  I think it's good to be reminded that life is short, we're not promised tomorrow and you should always take advantage of each moment with your loved ones!

I'll probably bake something, we'll go to Whataburger (they're giving free Whataburger's to anyone who wears orange today between 5-8!  It's their birthday too!)  We'll go to the cemetary and all cry (and chase the toddler who doesn't really understand, but does recognize Ian's picture and says "Bubba"!)  I have a feeling that I'll be crying a lot today! 

In fact, I already cried when I watched this:

A beautiful video created by my friend Elizabeth.  She lost her dad recently.

I especially loved the pic she included of the "Welcome Home" sign.  It was perfect!

If you'd like to read more about Ian and my grief journey, click here, or on the "Grief and Helaing" link in the header of the blog.

If you would like to honor Ian on his fourth birthday, first - hug someone you love and tell them how you really feel!  Life is too short!  Then, consider making a donation to Camp Sol.  You can read about them on their website or a quick article I wrote.

"Consider it pure joy, my friends, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

True Woman

Visit their website

You may remember a while back when I blogged about the True Woman 30-Day Makeover.  Well, They are hosting a couple of conferences this year - and I really want to attend the one in Fort Worth!

They are giving away a ticket a day on their Facebook Fan page!  You can win too and we could go together ;)

This promises to be an inspiring getaway that will refresh us and help us re-focus on our godly callings as wives, mothers, and bearers of the name of Christ in every area of life!

FREE Udder Covers Nursing Cover!

I am looking forward to nursing my 5th child when he or she arrives in January.  There are so many new and fun things now that make public nursing more comfortable.

When I was nursing my first child, 11 years ago, I was comfortable nursing in public, but worried that that little recieving blanket would be kicked right off!  I often tucked a corner into my bra strap for an extra measure of comfort!  With my last child, I decided to give one of the "nursing covers" a try.  WOW!  What a difference it made to have a secure nursing cover that allowed me to have eye contact with my baby!

I had given that cover away, as I thought that we were "done" (I'm learning that we may never be "done"!  LOL).  Right after I found out I was pregnant, I started to panic a little that we didn't have much baby stuff left!  We had sold or given away much of it, just a week before!  I was on one of my morning walks with my Father and He assured me that I would not have to purchase anything for this pregnancy or for this baby.  I'm still not quite sure how all of this will be accomplished, but I trust Him!  So far I've had plenty to wear with my existing wardrobe and a few things my mother-in-law bought for me at Goodwill and sent to me from her closet!  When I came across this coupon code, I thought "wow, something else for free!"

I chose the "Porter" Nursing Set

Which includes the nursing band bracelet and reusable nursing pads (can you say "GREEN"?  I knew you could!).  The extra best part?  The gift set is on sale for $37.00, so with the coupon for $32.00 off, it was just $5.00.  The shipping and handling was $9.95, so the total was $14.95.  I am reasoning the expense part as I will give part of it as a gift, so technically, the nursing cover is still free.  I feel comfortable with how that fits into the assurance that we wouldn't have to buy anything for this pregnancy or baby :)

So - here is the coupon code for you:

FAMILY2010

I have no idea how long it will last :)

This coupon came to me from my Planning Family membership, which was free.  The sign-up process was long, and they called with a follow-up which was even longer!  I wasn't sure this membership was going to be worth it; this coupon changed my mind!