Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Christian. Show all posts

Monday, July 30, 2012

Hotel Replaces Bible With '50 Shades of Grey' - Yahoo! News

Hotel Replaces Bible With '50 Shades of Grey' 
"In this secular age it seems distinctly odd that anyone would expect to find a religious book in a hotel bedroom."
So what are guests who are not the book's "target audience" supposed to read on a visit to the Damson Dene Hotel? Denby isn't banishing the Bible altogether. Instead, he plans to keep a few copies behind the reception desk in case someone asks.
"Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil; Who substitute darkness for light and light for darkness; Who substitute bitter for sweet and sweet for bitter!" Isaiah 5:20
I wish that I could say that I am shocked by this, but in reality - he is correct.  This is a secular age, a "post-Christian" society.  How sad!  We are in an age where right is wrong and wrong is right - everything is upside down.
We must decide what will be our standard.  How will we chart our path through a world that is twisting and turning?  How will we decide what is right and wrong?  One thing is very clear: we cannot depend on culture or mainstream to make those choices for us.  We cannot even rely upon our pastor, parents or friends.  We must make and individual choice.
You cannot allow your morals and values to be based on a sliding scale, they must be firmly rooted in something unchangeable.  I know where mine are rooted.  Do you?
"If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the LORD, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD."  Joshua 24:15


Hotel Replaces Bible With '50 Shades of Grey' - Yahoo! News:

'via Blog this'

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Don't knock it 'til you try it - a review of Fifty Shades of Grey

Maybe you've read some "holier than thou" articles on why a Christian shouldn't read the book "Fifty Shades of Grey" and you've thought "yeah - you don't know what you're missing!"  Well, read on my friends!

Source: google.ca via Kristina on Pinterest


It's true - they don't know what they are missing!  I read the first 11 chapters last night.

Let me back up a little bit though, before I tell you what I think of the book.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

My Sunday Weakness

I love Sundays!  I got to participate in worship this morning at The Crossing Church, followed by a great message on parenting by Dr. Garland Ownesby

His message came from Joshua chapter 1 - where God tells Joshua repeatedly "Be strong and courageous".  This scripture has come up over and over again in the last few months.

I am tired.  I am tired of being strong.  I am tired of being brave.  I am tired of being... I am just tired of BEING.



Tuesday, April 10, 2012

North Dallas: Free Parenting Seminar


In conjunction with its Family Matters series this Saturday and Sunday- April 14 and 15, 
The Crossing Church is having a family seminar. 

Special Guest Speaker- Dr. Garland Owensby will hold workshops on how to deal with the problems teenagers and kids are facing today. The event is open to the community. He will be dealing with issues that all families are facing in the twenty-first century. 
Garland Owensby
There will be two different opportunities to attend the workshop on Saturday-from 10-12 or 2-4. Many people have games on Saturdays so they wanted to make this accessible for everyone. 

Please, help spread the word about this weekend, and RSVP as to which session you will be attending so that they can have proper childcare workers in place. (Childcare is provided!)


Friday, March 2, 2012

The End of Frustration

When I was in the hospital with pneumonia in December, a dear friend visited me and gave me a book called "The Secret Place of Strength".  She also gave me a journal and encouraged me to write.  To restate what the devotion said, to write my questions, to write my observations, my prayers, whatever!  I've been going through it as my daily (almost every day!) devotional.

Something wonderful has happened: I look forward to devotion time.  For a long time I've felt like I "should" do devotions.  I've tried.  I've got a ton of books.  I've got a ton of Bibles!  I've got a ton of good intentions!  But the time always felt pained, not quite wasted, but not fulfilling either.  (Is anyone else identifying with me?  I can't be the only "good Christian girl" who didn't live for devotional time!)  They have always been viewed as a chore; something else on the to do list that never got done.  I've never really been able to see them as "me time" - something that I do for my own pleasure and encouragement.  I've always felt they were part of the grading stick that I was failing.

Since I've been using this book and journal, I enjoy spending time with God.  I have always enjoyed worship, going to church, etc. - but devotion time has been less than thrilling.  Recently, I have been able to hear Him calling to me when the house is still "come sit with me".

I don't blog these times - they are mine!  However, as I was reflecting today, I felt I really needed to share a revelation with you!

Monday, February 20, 2012

Remember...

I must remember.  I must remember to give thanks.  In all things.
Source: heartlight.org via Noel on Pinterest

There are people all over the world, probably in my neighborhood, that would love to have my "problems".  

Right now
there is a woman begging God for children
how can I complain about my four?

Right now
there is a father grieving his teenaged son
how can I complain about resistance to chores?

Right now
there is a family hoping that it doesn't rain and make their dirt floor muddy
how can I complain that half of my house is down to concrete?

Right now
there are people fighting cancer
how can I complain about my treatable condition?

Right now
there are people sleeping on a curb
how can I complain that my house is too big to keep clean?

Right now
there is a child wishing he could hear his mother's voice
how can I complain about the mysterious sound that I can't locate?

Right now
there are mothers watching their children starve to death
how can I complain about the boring food in my pantry?


Oh God - help me to remember how blessed I am!  
Help me to consider those less fortunate before I open my mouth to complain!

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Does it matter who you are friends with?



In my opinion, we have to guard our marriage from outside influence much the way we guard our children:  We are careful about who they interact with, never leave them unattended and always affirm and care for them.  We don't do this to control them, but to protect them.

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Book Review: Fashioned by Faith



Book Description:
Everyone knows that we live in a “skin-is-in” society, heavily driven by media and immodesty. So how does a young Christian woman reconcile a fashionable wardrobe with maintaining her integrity?

Thursday, January 26, 2012

Perspective

Perspective is a funny thing.  You can look at something and be quite convinced that your understanding is accurate.  You can outline all the reasons that you are right, how others are wrong.  You are right. It's simple, black and white.  And then something shifts, you see the exact same thing in a new light; you have a new perspective.

shadow art
Grief is, perhaps, the greatest illuminator of all.  When something, or worse - someone, is lost you are forced to shift your focus from the tyranny of the urgent.  The mundane things of everyday life become even more mundane.  I've often said that there is a clarity that is the gift of grief - we are able to distill our lives quite effectively into important and unimportant.  Those of us who have received that gift, lived with it and love it have few occasions to share it.  Unfortunately - it seems the most effective teacher is, once again, experience.

Review: Radical

I've had this book for over a year now.  I cried the first time I read it - and I've referenced back to it so many times! 

Author David Platt is a pastor of a mega church.  In Radical, he gives us a glimpse into his transition from the status quo to authentic first-century Christianity.  And then he challenges me to do the same.  

Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Random WW Wordless Wednesday (yeah right!)

Valentine's Wreath
a book I want to read
love this!
a contest, coming soon...
a contest, coming soon...
"May the LORD repay you for what you have done. May you be richly rewarded by the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge." Ruth 2:12




Sunday, December 4, 2011

When Traditions Change...


This is a re-post of my guest post yesterday over at Chelsey's Journey.  Chelsey is a dear friend of mine, even in real life!
 
As a child, I enjoyed many Christmas traditions – but the main one was Christmas at Gramma’s House. The traditions actually began at Thanksgiving, when Gramma passed out the Sears catalog, markers and pens and each of the kids “shopped” by circling the things that we wanted and putting our initials by them. You always wanted to be one of the first ones to the book, otherwise the pages were wrinkled, torn and circled with such vengeance that the coveted items literally fell right off of the page!

On Christmas Eve, after dinner the adults had a grand conspiracy to drive us mad with anticipation – insisting on eating dessert and talking around the table. Finally, granddaddy would say “you wanna open presents?” and we would all rush to the living room. Before we could open presents – there were the endless pictures. Always a picture of each family unit, all the grandkids together, all the grown children (my dad, his brothers and sister) and others sprinkled in just for fun. When we did get to presents, one of the kids was bestowed the honor of being “Santa Clause” and passing out presents, one to each person. Once everyone had a gift, then we would all open in turns – each taking time to admire and comment on the gifts (and take more endless pictures!) We would continue until all the presents were opened (with at least one of the adults cleaning up the papers as we went – or letting us put them on the fire – and neatly stacking all the gifts so that nothing got confused or lost) This tradition was so consistent that 2 years ago I put together a photo album to commemorate all those Christmases!

Having such wonderful Christmas memories from childhood – I anticipated continuing the trend when I was married and had children. What I did not take into account is that my future husband would be different. Very different. William grew up in a military family, traveling frequently and almost always away from family at the holidays. In different towns, even different countries, his family’s Christmas experience was much different! (Did I mention that his family is different? Good, ‘cause I didn’t want to lose you!) The youngest of 3 boys, Christmas was always “done” Christmas morning – really early! There was a mad dash, paper flying, get it all unwrapped quick and play, play, play!

Needless to say, we had a LOT of work ahead of us to forge our own Christmas traditions. After several kids, several years of making the Christmas rounds, several fights, several tearful conversations, and several icy stares… we decided that we would rotate Thanksgivings between the extended families and not travel on Christmas, that our kids would have Christmas memories of waking up in their own beds and having Christmas on Christmas morning. (Someone give me the Nobel Peace Prize for this brokered deal!)

In 2004 we moved into our dream home, large enough to accommodate both sides of our family for Christmas. My parents joined us the first year – I was so happy to have a fireplace, now Christmas would be PERFECT!

In 2005, William was recuperating from a car accident and I didn’t have help to get the tree out of the attic, so we improvised a tree with Manzanita branches left-over from a wedding I had just done. The kids were not impressed! I think this was the beginning of our slide into non-traditional Christmas.

Then in 2006, our slide into non-traditional became a full-stop. We were blessed with and kissed goodbye our third child, Ian Wesley. In October, I was busy preparing outfits for a family picture for the Christmas card. We were to wear black and red and white, with matching newsboy-style caps. I finally found the perfect outfit for Ian and planned pictures for the first Saturday in November. On November 5th, we returned our precious gift to Heaven. Our family pictures were in the hospital – not suitable for a Christmas card at all!
A funeral, a few weeks until Thanksgiving and then the “season” was upon us. It felt like an all-out attack. The stores were filled with babies, pregnant women and endless supplies of merchandise touting “baby’s first Christmas”. I started having panic attacks whenever I was in public, so I resorted to online shopping. My husband kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas – my singular wish. “I want my baby back!” I finally told him to stop asking me, because I couldn’t get past that thought to form a reasonable answer.
I didn't even want to put up a tree! My favorite season, the month of Jesus’ birth, my birthday and my first-born child’s birthday – I just wanted to hit fast-forward and skip it. I couldn’t bear to put up the stockings and see a gaping hole where Ian’s should hang, nor could I bear to see a drooping, flat, empty stocking on Christmas morning. Every tradition seemed pointless, meaningless, empty, and useless. I had already begun to question tradition, now I was questioning everything. The “whys” and “what if’s” will drive you stark-raving-mad! We did put up a tree. We did buy baby’s first Christmas ornaments. We did buy everything that had his name on it. We decided to get new stockings for the whole family and a matching ornament and stand to put on the mantle to honor Ian. Now we have a new tradition – We always put up the stockings and his ornament (even when we have no tree, like last year!)

Another tradition that came out of this questioning was born from a desire to re-direct us all to the true meaning of the season. When we decorate (at whatever point that may be) we save the nativity for last. We let each of the kids choose a figure (one at a time until they are all gone – yes, Jesus goes first!) and as we read the Christmas story from Luke 2, then the wise men part from Matthew, each person places their figure into the crèche. The first time we did this, we got to the part about the star and our oldest exclaimed “we don’t have a star!” So he stopped and made one! This is a new tradition that we love.
Last year, we were blessed to have both sets of parents with us for Christmas. Christmas, for us, was on December 22nd last year. {William was having back surgery on the 23rd, so we celebrated early.} Since he had surgery and I was having a baby, and we were planning a move, we didn’t put up a tree, we made one out of boxes instead!

The evening of the 22nd, we gathered in the living room. The big kids had been learning to play some Christmas songs on the piano, so we had a little concert and then watched a short clip of the Christmas story told in today’s modern language.

My dad read the Christmas story, the kids placed the nativity together, William’s mom read a poem and my mom shared a story she had heard. I loved this intimate time of worship and remembrance as a family! This, to, is bound to become a tradition.

So often follow traditions “just because”. We send the Christmas Letter, dress the kids in matching outfits, buy the latest toys and gems, wrap everything in pristine paper, stuff the stockings, run up the credit cards, attend company parties, eat fruitcake, cook way too much food, make so many sugary delights that we have to share, light up our house to rival the neighbors’…

What if we didn’t? What’s the worst that would happen if you didn’t send Christmas cards or put up the lights outside? What if you didn’t put up a tree? What if you didn’t have matching outfits, what if you gave less gifts? What if you ditched a few parties and spent time with your kids instead?
Only you and your family can design your family traditions. If old ones are holding you back from creating lasting and memorable traditions – LOSE THEM! Even if it’s for a season – there is no rule that you can’t pick them back up again later! Be flexible; be sensitive to your family’s needs and the Savior’s leading.

PLEASE, don’t just survive another Christmas season. Take a moment to question, to savor, to experience the wonder! Maybe, just maybe, it will feel like it did when you were a kid – free of obligations, full of anticipation!

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Death, Birth Control, Duggars and Mega Families (I have one)

Duggars announce #20 on the Today show
"Ah, the Duggars! Just the name stirs so many emotions! You won't encounter many people who don't have a strong opinion on this topic!"
So started my response to a post in an online grief forum this morning.  One of the recently bereaved moms had vented her anger that the Duggars will soon have 20 children and she can't even have one.  Her "Friends" on Facebook had chimed in their two cents (and many cheap shots).

When I was in fresh grief, the only people that I felt deserved babies were people who had lost babies. No one else had a right to procreate!
  • Unwed teens? NOPE! 
  • College party girls? NOPE! 
  • Childless couples? NOPE! 
  • Someone with a living kid or two? NOPE! 
  • Happily married high-school sweethearts? NOPE! 
  • Remarried blended families? NOPE! 
  • The Duggars? NOPE! 
Why should anyone else be blessed with a child when mine was taken away?

Thursday, October 27, 2011

OCCUPY

I'm Rich! I'm Rich! I'm Rich!

I'm the 40,391,619 richest person on earth!


Discover how rich you are!

Experience demands that man is the only animal which devours his own kind, for I can apply no milder term to the general prey of the rich on the poor.
Thomas Jefferson
If we command our wealth, we shall be rich and free; if our wealth commands us, we are poor indeed.


When life is too easy for us, we must beware or we may not be ready to meet the blows which sooner or later come to everyone, rich or poor.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Even the rich are hungry for love, for being cared for, for being wanted, for having someone to call their own.
Mother Teresa
Be careful to leave your sons well instructed rather than rich, for the hopes of the instructed are better than the wealth of the ignorant.
Epictetus
Certainly, the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. Some people who have set their hearts on getting rich have wandered away from the Christian faith and have caused themselves a lot of grief.

Whoever is greedy for unjust gain brings trouble to his family, but whoever hates bribes will live.
Pure, unstained religion, according to God our Father, is to take care of orphans and widows when they suffer and to remain uncorrupted by this world.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

That's all I need...

In the last 2 weeks I've:
(checking my calendar and text messages to remember who I am...)

  • driven to 2 orthodontist appointments
  • presented at 1 vendor fair
  • hosted 1 party in my home
  • attended 1 church leadership meeting (actually only half, I had to leave for another meeting)
  • launched a fundraiser for Camp Sol
  • Attended MOPS
  • taken care of a 9 month well-care visit (and found out that he wasn't well - had an ear infection and is anemic)
  • given antibiotic, tylenol and iron supplements to said 9 month old 2 times a day
  • Met with the designer for the PINK Party, changed the name to "An Evening at the PINK Lounge"
  • Attended a planning meeting for This Side Up's New Year's Eve Fundraiser
  • launched 3 Gold Canyon virtual parties
  • Picked up raffle items for the PINK Party Breast Cancer fundraiser (including massage, RoughRiders goodies, and 3 hours of home cleaning)
  • Given a private scent sampling
  • Organized a donation drive for my husband's Employee Appreciation event
  • Been stood up by my own mother for daycare (she was sick - she didn't just dump me!)
  • Toted my 10 year old and 9 month old with me to an Open House vendor event
  • Been a single mom to 4 kids while William volunteered at Camp Sol this weekend
  • Signed 3 detention slips
  • Bartered for childcare by doing some graphic design
  • Attended an awesome networking event with WEB and the Frisco Chamber
  • Sorted 1 Gold Canyon order
  • Placed 2 Gold Canyon orders
  • Marketed the PINK thing on Facebook, Twitter and LinkedIn until I'm almost sick of it.
All of that on top of my regular stuff of chasing a toddler, nursing a baby, changing diapers, washing (the bare minimum amount of) clothes and dishes.  Oh, and 3 hours of homework each night with one of my big kids.

I messed up one meeting this week.  I traded cars with William (and he took the kids) so I could have a night "off".  With this night off, I was supposed to meet someone for a business activity.  I left my phone in the van and the family drove off with it.  I had no way to contact them until I returned home, 2 hours later.  They were worried, and then upset.

Why is it that I immediately forget all the good I've done, all I've accomplished and just feel like throwing up because I wasn't perfect?  I've got that hot, sticky-icky feeling down my arms and in the back of my throat.  I've actually taken my temperature 3 times - sure that I'm coming down with something.

Why am I up at 1 AM with a knot in my stomach because I'm afraid that I've lost their respect?

I know part of it is that I was out of my Zoloft for nearly a week.  I've just been back on the happy-meds for a few days, so I'm sure they aren't in full force yet.

Part of it is feeling overwhelmed at all I've got on my plate and having no end in sight (there is one, it's just still a little too far off to see)

Part of it is that my wonderful husband, partner - friend, is sick with an unknown ailment that causes him to black-out randomly, have short-term memory loss and be exhausted most of the time.  The man who once cooked  4-5 times a week with joy, now rattles up a pasta dish every now and then.

Part of it is my disgust with our financial situation - the every growing stack of unopened medical bills, late notices and "friendly reminder" letters, calls, e-mails - ad nauseam.

Part of it is my disgust with my response to all of this: ignore it and hope it will go away.  The only proactive thing that I've done is try to build my business - it's my "plan B" in case William can't work for some reason in the near future.

But I know that ALL OF IT is my burden.  I'm not supposed to be carrying it.  I'm supposed to exchange my burden with Christ.  His burden is light.  Why?  He just Loves.  Serves.  Enjoys.  He does the will of His Father and lets the Holy Spirit do His part too.


Left my fear by side of the road
Hear You speak, won't let go
Fall to my knees as I lift my hands to pray
Got every reason to be here again
Father's love, that draws me in
And all my eyes wanna see is a glimpse of You

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord, is You Lord
All I need is You
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/h/hillsong/all_i_need_is_you.html ]
One more day and it's not the same
Your spirit calls my heart to sing
Drawn to the voice of my Savior once again
Where would the world be without Your Son
Gave His life to save the earth
Rest in the thought that You're watching over me

All I need is You
All I need is You Lord, is You Lord
All I need is You

You hold the universe
You hold everyone on earth
You hold the universe
You hold, You hold


Monday, August 8, 2011

Worst Fundraiser Ever...

What is the worst fundraiser that you've ever done, or been asked to support?

I can remember so many that we've done!
I remember my pitch for the "Slave Auction" for my youth group fundraiser "I can clean windows streak-free!"  I got "bought" and actually had to work.  Many of my friends got "bought" and taken out for ice cream!  LOL

And then there was the time we did a "free car wash" (donations accepted) where several people took us at our word, let us wash their car - and drove away!

Oh - I remember when I was a kid we did a chocolate fundraiser.  My little brother ate several of the bars and we had to pay for them!  (At least we got to keep the Pizza coupons that were inside the wrapper!)

We had pretty good success with selling frozen pies, they are yummy!  The only problem is delivery!  You have to get it to them still frozen, or have a place to store it!  And then hope that no one steals your pies out of the freezer at work.  Or church.  True story :(


The worst we've been asked to purchase was a school selling these GIGANTIC 64 oz thermal mugs with sports team logos on them.  Um. No.  Thanks!  Good Luck with your next 10 houses!

Same goes for those magazine subscriptions - Uh let me see.  $40 from you for 2 and a half years of one magazine, or $6 a year online?  Wow, that's a tough decision!
There was a year that I bought some cute wrapping paper from some kids at church, then had to threaten my family within an inch of their lives if they came close to it or used it!  That stuff was expensive, I reserved it for the finest gifts only!

Anyway - I'm excited about becoming a Certified Fundraiser Specialist with Gold Canyon - and I'm working on my "pitch" to organizations that want to raise money.

Our fundraisers generate a profit of 38-40%, up to $8.80 per candle sold.  That's like selling 14 candy bars!
I'd love to hear your fundraiser memories (OK, I really want your horror stories!)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

News from the homefront

Perhaps I should say "News from the Frontlines" - some days it seems more like a battlefield than a homefront!

This last month has brought a wave of changes.  I started up my Gold Canyon business again (the beauty of being in business for yourself) and have started meeting lots of other women who are building their businesses.  I really try to find out how I can help them, what they need and how I can connect them to resources.

A few things have really stuck in my mind the last few weeks:
Seek first the kingdom of God, and then all these things (provision and possessions) will be added unto you. (Matthew 6:33)
and
You do what you can do, and let God do what only God can do. (Pastor Zack Miller of The Crossing Church)
This is hard for me.  I like to think.  I like to plan.  I like to succeed!  It's a challenge for me to sit back and rest, once I've done all I can do.  It's a challenge for me to prioritize time with God, learning, praying, worshiping over all the other stuff that needs to be done (let's not even talk about all the stuff I want to do!)  Yet, that's what is required.  I greatly admire people who maintain schedules and routines.  Sort of.  I mean, I love that my life is fluid and flexible.  I love that William and I make quick decisions and can turn on a dime to do something.  Homeschooling (unschooling, specifically) has been a great fit for this.

Yet, I know that I am actually very undisciplined and very selfish.  I know that my day would be better if I were to get up BEFORE the kids and visit with my Father.  I know that my relationship with William would be enhanced by breakfast together before he leaves for work.  I know that the entire family would benefit from a more dependable schedule.  The problem is... me.  The only thing standing in between me and what God called me to be, is me.

This prompts me continuously to pray "less of me, more of you"  and "oh that you would increase and I would decrease."  For which I promptly pat myself on the back and am proud of my Christ-likeness, then facepalm for the utter lack of humility that I've just shown.  So. Far. To. Go.  !!!

This inner struggle is probably invisible to all but my closest companions.  The outer struggle that is most apparent is parenting.  I know that to wonder about whether I am a good parent is in itself an answer to the question; bad parents don't care if they are bad parents.  I know that we have done a good job, our children are well-behaved (although still children!) and things could be much worse.  But I also know they could be much better!  Our children struggle with each other, argue, bicker, show selfishness (oops, sounds familiar - wonder where that came from?)  We strive to show leadership, grace, mercy and faithfulness in our parenting.    Many times we fail miserably.  We aren't afraid to ask for forgiveness and confess our shortcomings to them.

A friend and mentor said recently that she felt I had lost confidence in my parenting.  I have thought about this a lot!  It's true.  After we lost Ian and dealt with CPS, I was crushed.  I felt guilty, even though I did nothing wrong.  I felt that others blamed me, I blamed me.  It makes sense then, that I would lose confidence.  I didn't know that it was still this way though.  I have relied heavily on my husband, chosen to ignore the disrespectful attitudes that cropped up in my older kids (and are being repeated by the toddler).  As I have begun to realize this and try to regain confidence and re-assert my authority, there has been much resistance!  Daytime with an infant and toddler are trying enough, but add in a 10 and 12 year old that are adjusting to new expectations and that live in constant conflict with each other - well, it's almost unbearable some days!

I know that the kids need more structure, and I know that area is one of my weaker points.  I have some really good days, but then there are some really bad ones too!  I'm not expecting perfection from myself or my kids (I don't think!), but I would like a little consistency in all of us.  William has frequently asked if the kids "act like this" all day/week long with me.  This usually happens when he is home from work.  I used to excuse them, saying that it was just because they were out of "normal" with him home, that there were other factors.  As I've realized that I was circumventing the real issues, I started saying "yes, this is pretty much what it is all the time."

Last Friday was one such day.  William was working from home in advance of the holiday.  I left for 2 hours to meet with a friend to help her plan a women's conference.  When I returned, the decision to a long-pending question had been resolved: the kids are going back to school.

I have mixed feelings.  I am elated that I will not have to constantly settle petty disputes (at least for 8 hours of the day).  I'm glad that Jordan is super-excited and has already started planning her wardrobe and sharpening pencils (seriously - when she was supposed to be cleaning her room, she was collecting and sharpening pencils!)  I feel good that I will be able to focus more attention on my 2 little ones, and "home school" Gavin for pre-school.  I know that it's good for us all to get more structure, that the kids will meet new people, reconnect with old friends and be exposed to lots of new ideas.

On the flip side, I'm feeling a bit selfish for being happy to be without them for a while.  I'm sad for Calvin, who will have to cut his hair and who is not interested, in the least, in returning to school.  I'm not looking forward to back-to-school shopping, uniform procurement and the arguments that will ensue over "Why do I have to wear this?  Why can't they just let us wear jeans?"  I am bummed at the prospect of packing healthy lunches, getting breakfast in them before they leave and whether or not they will ride the bus.

All of this swirling has caused me to remember another verse:
"Be still and know that I Am God." Psalm 46:10
Since I have a migraine headache right know, being still sounds good!  As a stay-at-home mom to 4, it's just not realistic!  Even when daddy gets home, there is work to do, errands to run, pee-pee to clean off of the bathroom floor (don't let a 3 YO brush his teeth BEFORE he goes potty!)  So, instead I have to still my heart, still my mind, and know:

verb (used with object)
  1. to perceive or understand as fact or truth; to apprehend clearly and with certainty: I know the situation fully.
  2. to have established or fixed in the mind or memory: to know a poem by heart; Do you know the way to the park from here?
  3. to be cognizant or aware of: I know it.
That HE is God.  I am not.  I cannot control, I cannot reason it out, I cannot come to the right conclusion on my own.  I don't hold all of the puzzle pieces.  I don't have the lid to the box!  I don't even know what I'm supposed to be piecing together - but He does.

Which makes me think of another one:
"And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them." Romans 8:28
 Know - there's that word again!  ...that God CAUSES everything to work together for my good.

Even my mess.  Even my imperfections.  Even my hurts, my failures, my pride - he MAKES them work together for my good.

Amen.

Be Still and Know from Zazzle.com

Sunday, June 12, 2011

Down's Syndrome: the education of me

Six months ago, Down's Syndrome was something that happened to other families.  It was sad, but "how brave of them to carry on."  Down's Syndrome was the dreaded thing that happened to women who dared to procreate after 35, which is why I had told my husband I didn't want to have any more babies after that milestone.

Down's Syndrome was the subject of a great sitcom from my childhood, which I watched and sang "la la la la life goes on!" with much enthusiasm.  It was at a safe distance, where I no longer had to be concerned after the "quad-screen" came back negative (which is positive).  It visited briefly when sonograms showed "shortened femur length which can be a soft indicator for Down's Syndrome" but flitted away with the assurance that it "could be constitutional, no other indicators are present".

Down's "people" were strange, not in the way that people who dress up at Star Trek conventions are strange, but in the way foreigners are strange.  Their customs, mannerisms, different language and interests... all so alien to me.  And then there were their parents.  The moms with the pinched faces, short hair and practical shoes; always weary and defensive.  And dads - if you ever saw them - aloof and disconnected.

I'm sure that there is a really long and comprehensive list of all the fears that new parents have.  Mine distilled to:

  1. Losing a child
  2. Having a "special needs" child
  3. Having a child kidnapped
In 2006, my worst nightmare came true.  My precious 3rd child died in my arms.  Less than 24 hours prior, my husband and I had been forced to sign over custody of our older children to a family friend - we were under investigation by Child Protective Services.  This lasted nearly 2 weeks, then we weren't "cleared" until the official death certificate came back - 4 months later.

It has taken me nearly 4 years to "recover" from the pain of being under CPS suspicion, being separated from my children during such a difficult time and the whole process that assumes you are guilty until proven otherwise.  I will NEVER recover from losing Ian.  

Having a "special needs" child was not even on my radar when I was pregnant with Gavin.  I was more worried about miscarriage and genetic disorders that would cause a painful, short life - and stillbirth scared me.  I had attended several support group meetings for families that had lost a child before or shortly after birth.  It was great support, but now I not only knew 143 ways that a baby could die, I knew families who were living through it.  These were no longer statistics, they were real.

Once he arrived safe and sound, all worries were gone.  I wasn't "planning" to have another child.  When we found Aaron was on the way, we were shocked!  Happy, but nervous.  The first appointment was disappointing, the sono showed a gestational sac but no baby.  We were thinking blighted ovum.  I went to the cemetery and sat at Ian's grave and cried and cried (I figured no one would bother me there!)  After an hour or so, I pulled out my smartphone and googled "blighted ovum"  I came to this page.  I felt like it was God telling me that it was going to be OK, to just believe.  I dried my tears.  I took a picture of my sonogram (the one with "no baby") and posted it to Facebook.

Three weeks later I went back for another sonogram - there was little Aaron!  Measuring perfectly at 9 weeks, just as he should.  Then at 12 weeks- perfect and 19 weeks - the shortened femur thing, but perfect (and a boy!)  Then sonos every 4 weeks to chart the progress.  He was much less active than my other babies in uetro.  This was attributed to the fact that my placenta was anterior (in front) and I probably couldn't feel the kicks.  Now, I wonder if it was the lessened muscle tone?

Anyway - he arrived December 30th by  emergent cesarean section, since he was breech and the cord was wrapped around his neck twice.  He was beautiful and perfect!  My husband says that he "knew" about the Down's on the first day, that one of the staff had mentioned it.  I honestly don't know if someone told me, but I don't remember if they did!

My entire education about Down's Syndrome was only moments away.  On the second day in the hospital, the pediatrician came in.  Having danced this dance 4 times before, I knew he would say "He's healthy, got 10 fingers, 10 toes.  Do you have any questions?  No?  OK, here's my card."  In fact, I was on the phone with my daughter when he arrived, and I just said "hold on a second honey" and set the phone down on my tray.

What he said came as a total shock.  It rocked my world.


(I will post part 2 later)
Part 2
Part 3
Part 4

Saturday, May 28, 2011

LRH: Good Sportsmanship Lesson Plan - Lesson 9


Lesson 9: Self-Control
Devotional Text:
James 3:2-8
2 All of us do many wrong things. But if you can control your tongue, you are mature and able to control your whole body.  3 By putting a bit into the mouth of a horse, we can turn the horse in different directions.  4 It takes strong winds to move a large sailing ship, but the captain uses only a small rudder to make it go in any direction.  5 Our tongues are small too, and yet they brag about big things.  It takes only a spark to start a forest fire!   6 The tongue is like a spark. It is an evil power that dirties the rest of the body and sets a person's entire life on fire with flames that come from hell itself.  7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles, and sea creatures can be tamed and have been tamed.  8 But our tongues get out of control. They are restless and evil, and always spreading deadly poison. (CEV)

Memory Verse::
2 Timothy 1:7b The Spirit gives us power, love, and self-control. (CEV)

What does it mean to be in control?

  • When you are using a controller for a video game, you make the player move by the actions that you take.
  • When you control a car, you use a small steering wheel to control a large car, or like in our devotional text, a ship’s captain uses a small rudder to control a large ship.
How can we be “self-controlled”?

  • As we learn the other aspects of good sportsmanship, like patience, fairness, honesty, and being humble, it is easier to be self-controlled, but we can’t do it all by ourselves!
  • That’s why God gave us the Holy Spirit.  He’s kind of like the cricket in Pinocchio, our conscience!  He’s always there, right by our side, even inside!  He reminds us to do the right thing, follow the rules, hold our temper and to be compassionate.  God’s word tells us that God has given us a spirit (a way to live our lives) of Power, Love and Self-Control.  We have help!
Next Lesson: Compassion & Mercy (final lesson)
Just joining us?  Start with Lesson 1

Don't stop - there's lots more good stuff...

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