The times they are a changin'...

For the past several months my life has been crazy.  (OK, so maybe years, but the last few months especially!)
I've been running 100 miles per hour non-stop. 

• January through May we were homeschooling.  Not to mention that Aaron has 4 therapy appointments each month.  We also co-lead a growth group at church and volunteer in other areas.  Plus, William is on the board for Camp Sol.
• In June we completed Financial Peace University (from Dave Ramsey) and I decided to really pursue my Gold Canyon business.  I traveled to San Antonio for a meeting, ordered my supplies and scheduled parties.
• In July Aaron was in the hospital.  In Tulsa.  Unexpected to say the least!  I had several Gold Canyon parties and my first $1000 month!  I also started doing a lot of networking. 
• In August we put the big kids back in school and they adjusted pretty well (all things considered).  I also started my Facebook fan page and had a Hostess Appreciation Tea for Gold Canyon.  And - this is when I started battling recurrent stys and eye infections.
• In September, I had parties and 3 booths at vendor fairs.  I continued networking and started my own networking group.  And planned a charity event with 30 vendors.  My husband started experiencing strange "nodding off" or "passing out" events, so I started driving him to the train station.  At 6:30 every morning!  And picking him up at 6:00 every evening.  My 12 year old was suspended for fighting at school.  And I found out that all of my children needed enough dental work to pay for the doc's Mercedes for at least a year.
• In October, I had several booths, including the PINK Party charity event.  We also collected donations for William's aunt who had a house fire.  I also went on a much-needed Girlfriend's Getaway with ladies from my church.  I managed one fundraiser start to finish and set up a second one.
• In November, I continued a heavy networking schedule, parties and several booths.  We also made 2 trips, one to Illinois and one in-state for Thanksgiving.  I spoke at a women's ministry meeting, kicked off a fundraiser and my 12 year old was suspended again.  My 10 year old had non-stop detentions for missing homework (she told us it was done.)  We also helped her get  a business off the ground: Ainsley's Accessories (and were her slave labor making scarves!)

• In December I made it to one vendor event and crashed the next day. I called my mommy! LOL My parents came to help and it was just in time. I woke up on the first Saturday of December with plans for a great vendor event/home show.  Instead, I went to the ER and was admitted with double pneumonia. 

It took me nearly 2 weeks to recover, most of that time in the hospital. While I was there, they did a bronchoscopy and lung biopsy, and the night before that I found out that I had large gall stones and would have to have surgery to remove them.  I was a wreck.  I called a good friend and she came to sit with me and give me counsel.  She also gave me an incredible book called The Secret Place of Strength (Heart for God Devotional Series, No. 5) The next morning another friend came and prayed with me and sat with me, then waited for me to have the procedure done.

I was supposed to take it easy for a while after leaving the hospital, and in comparison to my regular routine, I did!  I "only" entertained out-of town company, closed a fundraiser, attended 2 parties and sat with my baby in the hospital for 3 days.  Then did Christmas and New Year's activities.

Then the last few weeks have held drama as I waited for test results from the hematologist / oncologist that now show that I have a genetic condition called Hypogammaglobulinemia.  This is an immune disorder (which explains the severe pneumonia).  The treatment is regular IV infusions of IGg.  I'm thankful that I do not have any of the things that would have caused this, had it not been genetic (lupus, lymphoma, leukemia, etc.)

As I've had time to reflect on my life, my purpose, my strength...  I've come to several realizations.  The first one is that Gold Canyon is awesome and amazing, but it is consuming me.  I dream about it.  I think about it during praise and worship.  During my devotional time I have to refocus because I've just thought of another brilliant idea to share Gold Canyon.  So, I've decided that it has to go.  Once I realized that it was standing between me and God, I realized that it was also standing between me and my family.  Friends - take note:  Something doesn't have to be BAD in order to be bad for you.  It can be a wonderful thing, but if it's not GOD's wonderful thing for you, then it's gotta go!

So, I am happy and sad to say that I am going to resign from Gold Canyon.  I will leave my website up for a while, I'll be able to purchase with my discount for several more months. and I'll still be eligible to do fundraisers.  I will be transitioning my facebook page and eventually my website to Bre Land, a fellow Gold Canyon rep who will take good care of my friends/customers!

The second thing that I've realized is that I have to take more time to focus on my family.  We've increased Aaron's therapy visits to 8-10 times per month, since he's getting stronger and doing so well.  I'm working on pre-school lessons with Gavin.  I'm scheduling date nights with my husband.  I'm playing more games with the big kids.  And, I'm doing (a little) more cleaning.

I'm stretching outside of my comfort zone.  I know that I can be popular and amazing networking and selling great candles.  I know that I can bring people together.  I know that I am a great marketer.  Those things come easily to me.  My comfort zone does not include wiping down counters or cleaning up toys for the 40th time in one day.  It does not include "down time".  It does not recognize words like "discipline" and "structure".

I know that this is God-directed though, so I am completely on-board.  Even as I began to empty my schedule and unsubscribe from mailing lists and facebook pages, and leave networking groups and decline invitations - I felt God's peace.  And in the "empty" places, He is beginning to fill new appointments, new opportunities, new people.