21 Days: Day 1 PM

Did you miss the first post?

Well, it was LATE last night when William got home from work, so we didn't get to sit down and read until nearly 9:00 PM.  I had promised Calvin a "date" at Starbucks (he loves the double chocolate chip frappachino with a hint of peppermint - a rare treat!), so I'm writing today instead.

If you'd like to follow along with the short and easy devotionals, click here to download the .pdf

Tonight we read the 1st chapter of the book of John.  We noted that the book was written by Jesus's cousin, John the Baptist.  It opens with the familiar verse 1, then in 14 another familiar verse:

1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.  14And the Word became flesh, and dwelt among us

We asked the kids what this meant, then guided the discussion to reveal that Jesus is the Word and this verse shows that he is diety, part of the triune God.

The second part that stood out to me and we discussed was

45 Philip found Nathanael and said to him, "We have found Him of whom Moses in the Law and also the Prophets wrote--Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph."

46 Nathanael said to him, "Can any good thing come out of Nazareth?" Philip said to him, "Come and see."
47 Jesus saw Nathanael coming to Him, and said of him, "Behold, an Israelite indeed, in whom there is no deceit!"
48 Nathanael said to Him, "How do You know me?" Jesus answered and said to him, "Before Philip called you, when you were under the fig tree, I saw you."
49 Nathanael answered Him, "Rabbi, You are the Son of God; You are the King of Israel."
50 Jesus answered and said to him, "Because I said to you that I saw you under the fig tree, do you believe? You will see greater things than these."

I remembered a message I heard once that said that "under the fig tree" was a figure of speech that was used to refer to the lifelong study of the Torah. I shared this with the kids, and they thought that was pretty neat.

When we prayed we thanked God for the passage, then asked that we gain understanding and not be like those who "did not comprehend the Light" (vs.5)  We repented for our lack of Bible scholorship and committed to do better, not just during htis 21 day challenge, but  continuing after that.

It was really great to have time together in family Bible study, it's been a while since we've done that.  William was sure to point out that it was a privelege, not something that we "have to do" and the kids responded to that very positively.

The only thing that we will change?  We'll be doing this after we put the toddler to bed!  He was no help at all :)  Even though he had his "Bible"  (a Bible story book with a furry bear cover!) he was more interested in talking and banging it on the table.  We managed OK until prayer, then the kids kept cracking up at him!

21 Days: Day 1, AM

I've decided to participate in a 21 day challenge issued by our pastor, Zach Miller.  Part of the challenge is to read one chapter of the book of John (found in the New Testament of the Christian Bible) each day, spend time in prayer and reflection and to "fast" something important to you.  It might sound silly, but I've decided to fast Facebook.

Pastor Zach suggested that we take a look at what we spent he most time on, what was a priority, or where did our attention go?  For me, that is Facebook.  I don't play the games or join the pages (although some are quite funny and painfully relevant!), I "just" keep up with friends and businesses, my business page, etc.

Facebook is my homepage, the first thing that opens on my internet browser.  I have the app for my Palm Pre, I have text updates.  I'm connected.  I'm also a bit dependent.  OK, so my husband says "addicted", Facebook junkie, etc.  LOL  My conversation is freguently sprinkled with funny "status updates" from family and friends.  I often view situations as opportunities for clever Facebook posts.  I enjoy  seeing what people have to say and often what they have to say about what I had to say - yep, I'll confess to a wee bit of self-love)

It also gives me a false sense of connectedness.  It's easy to "know" someone through what they have to say on Facebook.  I can't possibly "know" what's really going on in their lives.  They don't know what's going on in mine!  Although I try really hard to be transparent and post the good and the bad, the funny and the sad; I often leave out the ugly.  I don't put up a status update that says "Noel Giger: is really mad at her husband for forgetting their dearly departed son's birthday, working late and ruining the plans for a family visit to the graveyard to remember his birthday."  or "Noel Giger: is feeling guilty for not being able to handle the screaming and bad behaviour of her toddler (who is trying to get her attention while she is "working" on Facebook) and leaving him in time out for 20 minutes."  or "Noel Giger: hasn't cracked her Bible in a week, even though she's listened to several hours of Biblical teaching on Christian radio."

Yep, I'm in love with the false reality that Facebook provides.  I have over 400 friends, I must be likable.  People comment on my status, I must be popular.  People "like" my comments, I must be wise.  I don't cuss or "like" people who do, I must be a Christian.

I'm a little afraid that I won't be able to keep up my fast.  I'm not addicted (I can stop anytime I want to!), but it has become part of the fabric of my life (cotton - anyone?)  It's a cheap addiction financially, so it's easy to justify.  What is less easy to reason away is the relationship that it steals.  I don't want cheap relationships.  I want real ones.  I should have realized this when my husband signed up for Facebook and alerts of my status updates so that he could keep up with what is going on in my head.  I was flattered!  Now I'm just angry if he doesn't respond - it must mean he doesn't care, right? 

I'm jealous of those spouses who are mutually Facebook dependent.  You know the ones - they tell each other's walls how much they love them.  They respond back to the other's wall "I love you too".  They post in the afternoon how they can't wait to get home to each other's walls.  Then later in the day they post a status update about the wonderful time they had with each other cooking dinner and bike riding and whatever else...

Ah, now that's honest - is it too honest?  I know that my relationship with my husband is firm, loving and secure.  It just isn't public to my false Facebook world.  Therein lies the problem.  I've (temporarily) elevated that world over the things that I know to be true.  It's easy to do!  Maybe the world that you've elevated over the truth isn't a false one from Facebook.  Maybe it's your blog friends.  Maybe it's your office.  Maybe it's your teachers and clasmates.  The time has come to grasp hold of what is TRUE and see through the flimsy immitations of Life.  Facebook doesn't love me.  It may temporarily make me feel better about myself, but it doesn't sacrifice for me.

So - that's a (really long) reason to "fast" from Facebook.

 I hope to blog later with my reflections from John chapter 1 ("the one about the son" - yes, I was a Carmen fan back in the day!).  I hope to read this as a family, or at least with my husband - so I'm saving it for after he gets home.

Oh - and Facebook friends, if you comment on this through "Networked Blogs" I won't get it for a while - so if you want me to see it soon, pst a comment on the actual blog, or send me an e-mail :)

400 Facebook Fans! A SALEabration :)

I can't believe it!  My "fan page" has passed 400 fans!  The best part is, only 144 of them are personal friends!

As a special thank you to all my facebook friends and fans, all items are 40% off this week!  In addition, I've marked all my pillows on clearance 60% off!

If you don't already "like" my page, please do so now!  Or, if you're not on Facebook (how do you continue to breathe?) just be a "follower" of this blog and I'll extend the discount to you too!

Also, all jewelry ships for free!  Many of the pics are blurry, (I haven't had a chance to drag my 3 children to the pretty spots to do outdoor shots!) but I guarentee you'll be happy or I'll refund your money :)

Large Cabinet Door (left) with 4 hymnal pages and teal/brown enameled metal cross. $78.00
Vintage distressed cabinet door with original handle (if you look close you can see it was once red!) with enameled cross of an angelic-looking girl praying. $46.00

I happened upon a stash of vintage crazy quilt squares. They are circa 1930 and feature precious snippets of colorful fabrics!
This pillow cover: 16x24"
Features vintage crazy quilt squares, raspberry/red soft material from a remnant.
100% [ReDeemed] materials! $38.00 - 2 AVAILABLE in this style
Pillow insert sold separately: $10.00

Happy 4th Birthday Ian! We love and miss you :)

Every year on Ian's birthday I wonder what we will do.  The first year we felt we really needed to plan a party.  We invited our close friends and family, had cake and visited the gaveside.  My children each had special songs they wanted to sing andspecific requests.  They wanted to bring flowers and balloons (to release after we sang the songs).  I also read a poem that I wrote that morning.  Here it is:

One Year

by Noel Giger

In Memory of Ian Wesley Giger

August 3, 2006 – November 5, 2006

Lost to SIDS

One year ago today I was in labor at this time. One year ago today William held our sweet Ian up to show me, and then they whisked him away too soon.

How was I to know that in a few short 94 days, his precious life would also be whisked away too soon?

One year ago today, I was in a hospital, holding my 3rd child, checking out his perfection, counting toes and multiplying kisses on his entire body.

How was I to know that in 13 weeks I would be in another hospital, holding that same gift, as we discontinued life support and he breathed his last?

One year ago today, I called people at 4 o'clock in the morning to tell them "my water has broken!" I was in labor, just the way I had always wanted it. My first two were induced, I always wanted a water-breaking story.

How was I to know that just shy of 3 months later, I would be making a similar round of phone calls? "Ian stopped breathing, the EMT's have a pulse back. They are taking him to Trinity, please PRAY!".

One year ago today, I would soon find out that my little boy would have to stay in NICU after I had been released. I couldn't bear to leave without him, much less go home without him, so William got a hotel room next to the Hospital, so we could visit him all the time.

How was I to know that leaving him in NICU would pale in comparison to leaving him, laying cold and dead in another Hospital, so small and so gone? I stood at the elevators for what seemed like an eternity, unable to force my body to make the moves. Again, we couldn't bear to go home, another hotel.

One year ago today, I had the pleasure of introducing my older 2 children to their much awaited, already loved baby brother. They loved holding him and fought over whose turn it was to feed him his bottle.

How was I to know that 3 months and 2 days later, I would break their hearts with the news that Ian had died and gone to Heaven?

One year ago today, I thought that it was going to be really challenging to plan a Dedication party for Ian, we figured that it would come around Thanksgiving.

How was I to know that 3 months and 3 days later, I would be planning a very different event; a funeral for a tiny body, in a tiny casket, to be placed in a tiny plot of land in a cemetery? I have my "certificate of property ownership", I'd rather just have my son.

One year ago today, I welcomed family and friends, accepted warm greetings and well wishes, enjoyed flower deliveries to welcome Ian's birth. I love flowers!

How was I to know that in 14 weeks, I would be receiving many flowers, too many to make it from the funeral to my house in one car? Man, I hated flowers that week!

One year ago today, we excitedly and proudly filled out the information for Ian's birth certificate: Ian Wesley Giger. We were so proud of his beautiful name.

How was I to know that 6 months later we would stand in the cemetery, the ugly patch of brown now covered with sweet new grass, and weep bitter tears over seeing his name, so carefully chosen, and never intended for a bronze carving?

One year ago today, we soon would delight in dressing our son up in the outfit his big brother and sister had chosen, the front says "My mom is a rock star". Yep, I felt like one too. We were finally bringing him home, finally got to see the sign "Welcome home Mom and Dad and Ian" made with markers, crayons and stickers, by our sweet children.

How was I do know that an achingly short 2,255 hours later, we would be singing, crying and praying as he made his true homecoming? I believe that there were angels and small children holding up signs, "Welcome Home Ian", "Job Well Done", "Enter Your Rest". I am sure they weren't made with markers though.

One year ago today, I thought I was a strong person. I thought that I had great faith. I thought that life was great.

How was I to know, that over the course of the next year, I would find out without a shadow of a doubt, that I am a strong person, I have great faith and that LIFE is great?

I have no regrets.

I don't know what we'll do this year.  We have a yard sign that we will put out, as we do every year.  We leave it out between his birthday and anniversary. Here is what it looks like:

We've met several people in our neighborhood from our sign.  I'm sure there are plenty more who'd rather not see it!  I think it's good to be reminded that life is short, we're not promised tomorrow and you should always take advantage of each moment with your loved ones!

I'll probably bake something, we'll go to Whataburger (they're giving free Whataburger's to anyone who wears orange today between 5-8!  It's their birthday too!)  We'll go to the cemetary and all cry (and chase the toddler who doesn't really understand, but does recognize Ian's picture and says "Bubba"!)  I have a feeling that I'll be crying a lot today! 

In fact, I already cried when I watched this:

A beautiful video created by my friend Elizabeth.  She lost her dad recently.

I especially loved the pic she included of the "Welcome Home" sign.  It was perfect!

If you'd like to read more about Ian and my grief journey, click here, or on the "Grief and Helaing" link in the header of the blog.

If you would like to honor Ian on his fourth birthday, first - hug someone you love and tell them how you really feel!  Life is too short!  Then, consider making a donation to Camp Sol.  You can read about them on their website or a quick article I wrote.

"Consider it pure joy, my friends, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4

True Woman

Visit their website

You may remember a while back when I blogged about the True Woman 30-Day Makeover.  Well, They are hosting a couple of conferences this year - and I really want to attend the one in Fort Worth!

They are giving away a ticket a day on their Facebook Fan page!  You can win too and we could go together ;)

This promises to be an inspiring getaway that will refresh us and help us re-focus on our godly callings as wives, mothers, and bearers of the name of Christ in every area of life!