Friday, December 7, 2012

Dear Pinterest...

Dear Pinterest,

I love you, but I'm never going to make your wine bottle candle covers.  I'll never replicate "the. best. ever." recipe, because I don't like to cook.  I might actually sew those pillows and make the scarf, but don't hold your breath until I try "OMG so. very. easy" home-made cleaning products.

Why do I need to make glasses out of wine bottles and lights out of glasses?  And I like to theory of making pants for my kids out of the sleeves of my shirts, but I only have little boys!  I'm doing good to actually remember to pack a lunch for the kids, much less make it a cute little monkey face sandwich with a tattooed banana!

I will try really hard to fix up my mantle for Christmas, and if I can ever find the top of my bathroom counters, I'll decorate them for Christmas too.  And when Easter rolls around, and I've failed to decorate for Valentine's Day or St. Patrick's Day, I'll finally put away the Christmas stuff (maybe).

Also - I should probably mention that I'm not really going to do anything with those pallets in my backyard.  I would, but the tree that grew up through them is really big now, and I haven't been able to find just the right pin to address this problem.  That's OK, because my collection of picture frames waiting to be "unified in spray paint/crackle finish/DIY aged fantasticness" is already annoying my husband.  Besides, I couldn't really decide if I'm all "shabby chic" or "subway art" or just "mysterious empty frames on a wall".

I think after the first of the year, I'm going to try to start exercising, that is if I can avoid the temptation to buy your insanely high high-heels.  I know I would break something and I don't recall a pin for #DIY casts.  I know nothing tastes as good as skinny feels, but did you have to put it right next to chocolate cake?  I think that you have some issues...

In the spring, I probably will start pinning an obscene amount of gardening pins.  I won't get my hands dirty or sweat outside, but at least my friends will think that I'm healthy!  Plus, when I get ready to microwave press flowers, they'll assume that they sprung from my green thumb!  I'm pretty sure that I'll buy all the materials to make these into cards, art and children's scrapbooks, but who am I kidding?  It's not really going to happen.

And finally, can we talk about the ridiculous nail pins?  I mean, seriously... who wants fuzzy nails?  Or horticulture on their fingertips?  I know I'm a little bit southern, but around here, we call that "fungus" and take care of it!  Besides - are any of your nail peeps over the age of 22?  I don't know anyone that has time to sit around for 5 hours and paint their nails!

Addicted to Pinterest

P.S.  Thank you for the lovely words of affirmation
P.P.S.  I un-follow all those stupid cute animal boards

Don't stop - there's lots more good stuff...

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